diapers... 25 cents each... or 4 for a dollar!

This picture is from baby in the kitchen review blog... it's not my linky. But cute either way. :) The average cost of a disposable diaper is 25 cents! That makes it about 60-80 bucks a year and just under 2,000 bucks if your wee one is potty trained by 2. That's a lot of shoes, make up, pedicures, nights out at the movies and gas for my car. Okay it's at least enough to pay for the on demand movie I got off our cable box for 4.99 while I paint my own toes in my living room and use a thing of chapstick that my toddler tried to eat but still... that's expensive.

Diapers are expensive! Thank you tax return for allowing me to purchase a few cloth diapers to use at home so that we are saving a little money while helping the world. Your welcome world. :) These things are pretty cool and very cute. They velcro and have no pins wash well and seem much cozier. On Dylan I have noticed the indents the disposables leave on his skin. Looks painful and red even in the correct size! His first try in a cutey baby he took a massive dump. Sorry no other way to put it and it help up very well! :) Looks like it will be cloth diapers at home. Though you really cant even call these things cloth because you will get a flashback of horrible diapers with pins and craziness. This is so not the case here. They are amaz-zah-zing.

Money money money

Nolan comes running up to me very excited... "MOM! I have an idea... BUT WAIT!! Is it illegal to photocopy money?!?" ohhh nolan. smh

bag boy

Just got Nolan a brand new cool outfit so he looks stylin' on the ORANGE CARPET at the NICKELODEON KIDS CHOICE AWARDS and he tells me he also needs a backpack. Me- You can't take a backpack in and he says Nolan-OHHHhhhhh! Okay I'll just take an Albertson's bag in with me. I can't tell you how much I love this silly kid. :)

Flippen Yeast

Dylan smiles and I notice his tongue is a little bit white my gut is telling me it's thrush... my denial and hate for sitting in a peds office tells me it's just a coating of milk on his tongue. day 2 at the baseball field Dylan smiles and in the sun I see that it is in fact a thrush infection and so does the baseball mom he smiles at (who happens to work in a peds office) Happy to have Nystatin oral in an infant dose on deck and that this will go away without a problem... I know that yeast infections can be a disaster to get rid of and I really have enough to do without having to coat my kids mouth in yellow goo 4 times a day for a week and a half. Not to preach any more but yeast infections can also be a sign of food intolerance??? Wheat maybe? I don't know I need to research more but I am thinking that even though the world thinks yeast infections are normal... I don't... I hate yeast and I don't really feel like dealing with it ever again... On the plus side it is a BEAUTIFUL warm day and I think we might pick Nolan up and head to the park. And of course... Happy birthday to my little cousin Griffin. He's a cool kid.

French Toast Sticks.

I am SO mad at myself! I went online and searched all the allergy information for all the places we normally go... just in case I was hungry and on the go. Can't starve yourself while breastfeeding! I noticed that Burger King's French Toast sticks are DAIRY FREE! Wooo Hooo! After standing in line at the mall to meet Rob Dyrdek (who we didn't even get to meet BUT we did see him!) I was starving and the kids had eaten all the snacks that I brought. I kept thinking what can I eat what can I eat! French toast sticks!!! OH YEAH! So I go to Jack in the box and get an order of 5 french toast sticks because they are 'safe' and will fill me up at least until I can unload my car full of kids (I had an extra kid too :D) Within a few hours I notice that Dylan's poop is looking gross and by the next night there is once again blood in his diaper. Here I am 2 days later trying to look up the ingredients of EVERYTHING I have consumed and I found it. BURGER KING HAS DAIRY FREE FRENCH TOAST JACK IN THE CRACK DOES NOT. Ughhh I can't believe in a moment of starvation that I accidently ate dairy and made my milk poison all over again... stupid stupid stupid.

"Wanna rip up our bathroom linoleum?"

Bedtime was right around the corner and we are winding down a hectic day. Taylor and I are sitting on the couch when he asks me "Wanna rip up our bathroom linoleum? It's ripping anyway." SUUUUURE!!!

The problem with this idea was that 1.) We don't have money to have it replaced and 2.) Now we have to take 3 kids to Lowes to find a cheap alternative. So glad we did!

First we tore all the linoleum up and tossed it. We were left with plywood so we sanded down the rough spots and covered it with this tinted primer.

Then we rolled on the indoor/outdoor floor paint. (yes they actually make a paint for this!)

And done! I have been on a hunt to find rugs I like for the bathroom so it's still a work in progress but we are very happy with our floor! It's easy to clean and waterproof. :)

Chalkboard Fridge

So... these past few months have exhausted me and every second of my time wiping noses, changing diapers, carpooling or healing broken bones. Time to do a little of what I love. I have been getting bored with the house and finally have a little time to tackle a few projects while Nolan is at school and the little ones nap! I should take a shower with my "spare time" but this is much more fun!

I knew I wanted something in my house to be chalkboard. I am a list maker and didn't really like the idea of a dry erase board hanging somewhere that I could have a cute piece of art... so after a few months I found this idea online. I wish I can say I thought of it myself! And a shout out to my high school friend Sarah for painting an entire wall with chalkboard paint! You inspired me to go for it... THANK YOU!

BEFORE

This is my "OH CRAP. WHAT AM I DOING?" moment.

The hardest part about this was picking out a piece of chalk!
Nolan was so happy when he got home from school! "It's done!? Can I write on it!?"

And here it is finished. Ready for my grocery lists, things to remember and of course my little munchkins have a place to tag... SO STOP WRITING ON MY WALLS LINCOLN! :)

happy bouncing Dah!!

Dylan chillin in his buddy Preston's swing!! He looked so happy we went out and bought him his own... but Lincoln won't stay out of it.

too much thinking not enough fun...

I am thinking about tackling the playroom soon with something crazy... Huge chalk board trees painted directly on the wall... or.... i don't know but something bold and fun. you only live once right?

WE GOT IT!

Finally got a GI referral for Dylan. I have been hoping and pushing for this for about a month now. I called Dr 2 and told her that since our visit 6 days ago I am still seeing specks of blood in Dylan's stool and she said that she would send out to a referral to GI. She thinks it will be approved in about 2 weeks time. I am very lucky that we are able to have this insurance but I feel like half the time my hands are tied and all that I can do it wait unless I have cash to get these tests done. I am lucky that he is thriving, he is eating well and in the 90th percentile or I would be freaking out even more. I have given up dairy completely and I am frustrated because it isn't working as fast as it I want it to. I am reading that it takes approx 2 weeks to leave your system and another 2 weeks or so before it exits the babies system. I ate In n Out about 2 weeks ago not realizing that even the smallest ammount of dairy can cause Dylan's system to go right back to square one and the healing process would have to start all over again. So it's been 4 weeks... but I can only count 2 of them as dairy free. So in 2 weeks if he is not showing progress than 1.) I am going to be upset and 2.) I will have to eliminate other possible allergens from my diet.

Lincoln is doing really well just being off of dairy. He is still sleeping amazing. He has been sleeping well this entire month though he does wake up occasionally for some rice milk at about 5am or so. I will take that any day over the horrible nights that we used to deal with. I still wonder what else if anything that his system may not tolerate so well. His lymph nodes for the first time since he was a year old have gone from the size of a grape to more of a small marble. I would say that even though it is still there and visible it is half the size and a lot of the other small ones have either dissapeared or shrunk.

Nolan is doing well and hit his first OVER THE FENCE HOMERUN OF A KID PITCHER!!!! I was so upset that I missed it. First game that I decided to take the tired babies home since we had just sat through one of the games Taylor had coached. The day prior we went to Taylor's game and a softball game. I was baseballed out and didn't really feel like wrangling the babies for a 4th game in a 48 hour period. I cried and cried and cried when I heard what he did. I was so proud of him and so mad that I missed it. I could have sat through one more game. I really wish baseball didn't feel like such a chore to me. I just don't think I will ever enjoy it. Too bad for me that if I want to share those moments that Nolan and Taylor are so proud of... I can't miss the games. Nolan was so sweet and offered to give me the ball so I wouldn't be sad. He is such a good kid. :)

Yuck... link needs a diaper change and dylan is hungry!!! Later!! :D

saw dr #2 today

Took Dylan in first thing this morning for the blood in his stool. I was secretly hoping the Dr didn't remember me since last time she pretty much told me I was derpriving my kids of the benefits of milk. I tried to get my insurance's approval to see a new dr. they said no. Today there was no way she could tell me that what was happening to dylan was normal. He has blood in his stool and if she told me again that I was wrong I was going to have a break down in her office. She said the blood was probably from a rash on his bottom and when she checked he clearly does not have a rash. She said he would probably be just fine and sometimes mom's may eat something that upsets the babies system. Then I told her that I brought the diapers for her to look at and when her gloved hangs unfolded the frozen little gifts i brought her she looked at me a little differently. She said "this babies diaper is full of mucus." (that's what i said about 10 times) then she asked how long and I told her AGAIN that it's been almost a month. She looked at the bloody diaper and she said "i need you to cut out all dairy for 3 weeks and call me to tell me how he is doing. This looks like we have a child who is allergic to milk protiens." do you have any idea how badly i wanted to say "DUH!!! I've been trying to tell you guys that!!! Now help me make my baby better!!" But then she said "We will have to wait and see at 6 months to be sure we can't allergy test him before that." and i don't have 6 months to wait around lady. Especially for an allergy test that isn't 100% accurate. So no dairy. That's what we are doing and have been doing. I didn't want to tell her that becuase I realized she is like a man and this needed to be her idea not mine... and I already have one of those I call him my husband. So... I will take this information and move on to the next pediatrician and pray she thinks like a mom... not a man.

sick to my stomach over poop but not in the way you would think...

i knew parenting would be stressful and demanding but never did i think i would actually cry over a poop diaper. dylan's diapers just keep getting worse. tonight as i was changing him i noticed blood in his stool. i dug out a diaper that my color blind huband changed and sure enough it is full of mucus that is bright red. i knew this was coming because in the week and a half that i have not had dairy he hasn't shown too much of an imrovement. i think maybe soy is bothering him too. i spent the morning calling GI's and tryin to see if any in our area are covered by our insurance with a referral. I was able to change pediatricians and that won't take effect until 4-1 and that is 2 1/2 weeks away. this may be able to wait until first thing in the morning but i will not wait until april... no way. i am going to call in the morning since the last dr i changed to seriously blew me off and made me feel like i was crazy for analyzing my kid's stool... i knew it didn't look normal. how bad must his little system be off to actually bleed? If they don't change his dr due to an "emergency" than i guess i work up the courage to walk back into the old peds office and try not to tell her that she is an idiot. PLEASE let them realize that my babies need to see a specialist. This is the same thing i went through with lincoln minus the bleeding. i don't know what else to do. i know something that i am eating is bothering them... and i will figure it out. hoping for a GI appt that gets approved stat. ill let you know how tomorrow goes.

i am going to be a zombie if i don't get some sleep

all that i can think of is food allergies. it is running either in the front or back of my mind and if for a second i forget... lincoln turns his head and i remember. i would do anything to have that swollen lymph node go away. he has been dairy free for 2 weeks. the first week he was on rice milk, juice, fruits, veggies, meat, rice and a few dairy free snacks and doing well. he had lots of healthy options to eat and was actually eating more than normal. his lymph node was finally shrinking a bit. then wic changed our vouchers to soy and its been about a week on soy and the lymph node seems to be swelling a bit again. going back to rice milk. i am finding out that half of the kids with a milk sensitivity also have a soy intollerance of some sort. crossing my fingers this isn't the case... soy is in everything. this is frustrating and i wish i just knew what foods to avoid this guessing game wouldn't be so frustrating. went to farmer's market this am. got a lot of veggies to try. even got linky and nolan to drink carrot juice mixed with oj. that's huge since if either of them could choose they would reach for soda. i have a feeling this is going to be a long process but we are finally on the right track since eliminating milk has for the first time in lincoln's life has allowed him to sleep peacefully. crazy to take dairy away but if you could see what it has done for this kid you would wonder why anyone drinks it. i am really starting to think cow milk was made for baby cows and not humans... what a concept. it's almost 1am and i have been researching GI specialist in the area. there are 4 in murrieta and 3 of them work in the same building. i am going to call tomorrow and see if i can get someone on the phone to see us. i am exhausted and my brain is on allergy overload. i can easily read and google about this subject for hours and hours... whatever it takes... i am on my own little mission. dylan's diapers are back to being discusting and not normal. he is gaining well but so did lincoln. i don't know what is going on with this poor guys system but it's very obvious that like lincoln when he was a baby something i am eating is upsetting his little body pretty badly.

milk protein allergy and things that seriously irritate me.

it frustrates me off that a pediatrician can't help me solve the problem with lincoln's lymph nodes/immune system. i have seen 2 pediatricians that have been sure to let me know that she was the expert and that I had nothing to worry about.. his symtoms are all "normal". What makes me even more mad is that because she is a doctor and therefore smarter than me... I listened to them for a year with a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this wasn't normal even if his blood work said so. In all my research i am realizing that drs/peds are not even trained in food allergies... they go to school to treat and medicate symptoms. not necessarily find out the cause. Well that would have been too easy and save a few thousand dollars, trip after trip to the office, having my kids on a constant stream of antibiotics and even a trip to surgery with lincoln. They are licensed to practice medicine and that is exactly what they do. They find a problem and give you medicine to fix your symptom. I am not saying they don't have a place in your child's health care but I am saying that I have learned a lot. This whole time I know something isn't right. I know that what is happening with my baby isn't normal. Does my baby have cancer in his neck? Some crazy childhood disease or is it nothing to worry about?

Our first visit the pediatrician is sure that she knows this problem of his swollen lymph nodes "He has catch scratch fever." Our cat that is still a "teenager" scratches him every day. Why wouldn't she... Lincoln lays on top of her and tries to pull her tail. She's a good cat but my son's health is more important. each day i look at her starting to hate the poor cat thinking she is making my baby sick. guess what our scratchy cat has been rehomed and the problem persists.

I ask for bloodwork, x-rays and allergy testing. all which come back normal. we are still regulars in the office for ear infections, sinus infections, fevers... you name it. my kids immune system seems horrible. my toddler catches everything... even the swine flu! a year later his swollen lymph nodes are huge and bulging out of his neck... the kid is always sick, constantly on antibiotics,has rings around his eyes, gets ear infections, sinus infections, has chronic fluid in both ears and doesn't sleep through the night (wakes up crying and screaming seeming to be in pain).

i asked if it could be an allergy and i am assured that if the blood tests come back for negative for an allery than he is fine. come to find out late set allergic reactions and many allergies can be present and still not show on that test. seriously how infuriating. finally this dr knew i was going to keep sticking my foot in the door and asking questions. she referred us to an ENT probably to get me to leave her alone. The ENT instead of listing reasons for the swollen lymph node said "come back in 2 months and it has grown we will surgically remove the entire lymph node". Okay... but WHY is it there to begin with???? What is causing this and how come nobody will help me figure it out. On the next the lymph node had grown over 2 cm and now this lymph node brought friends. The large lymph node now had a large neighbor and there was what I would describe as buckshot all inside his little neck on both sides. Now fluid is found in both ears and it's causing his eardrums to bulge. we are hoping we have found the problem. lympadenopathy-caused by fluid in the middle ear- body is fighting ear infections constantly therefore suppressed immune system and swollen glands. A date was scheduled for ear tube surgery. Of course i don't want my baby put under. I cried on the way home and wished and hoped and even prayed that he would be okay.

Lincoln wasn't sleeping well. He never had been a good sleeper and I have tried every method from co-sleeping, crib sleeping, toddler bed, sleeping on the couch, the floor, exhausting him at the park, letting him nap more during the day, putting him on a schedule, letting him sleep with his brother, taking away the bottle at night, the Ferber method all the other methods that actually work in a few weeks for normal healthy children. So many long nights of him screaming inconsolably. I was at the end of my rope. i was exhausted and none of us were sleeping. how can you ever feel rested when you have not had a good nights sleep in a year or more? sometimes he would cry for 20 minutes sometimes 2+ hours of him screaming until he finally would vomit up all his milk. My husband and I screaming at each other every night in the middle of the night because our worry and helplessness has turned into anger. exhausted and frustrated we only had each other to take it out on. Lincoln would toss and turn screaming and finally falling asleep in our bed only to wake up an hour later to start all over again. I couldn't do it anymore. My 2 week old was sleeping better than he was. I was told by his pediatrician "his bad sleeping patterns are because you have brought a new baby into the house and that is traumatic for a toddler" ummm are you deaf lady??? I said he has been a horrible sleeper his whole life.

i start looking for information and i am actually starting to think my toddler has a sleep disorder. Then I am thinking maybe he is having night terrors. He seemed to fit the description: waking up screaming, looks frightened, doesn't want to be held, touched, looked at, it can go on for a long time each night. One web site even went as far as to say to "let your child cry it out and watch from afar so they don't think you are attacking them". Are you kidding me? Hell no am I going to let my baby cry while he is frightened even is he is socking me in the face with his cast (that's a whole nother blog).

the surgery date was finally here and though i was nervous i couldn't help but have hope that this would give him relief from his ear pain and my child could sleep. I let my 20 month old be put under and have both ear drums pierced to insert a ventilation tube that will allow the pressure to regulate and fluid to drain. i was told this will provide "instant relief and he will be a new boy as soon as the anesthesia wears off... no more pain and his ear infections will drop dramatically." it went quickly and he woke up wanting to be in daddy's arms. i was so happy that it was over. i just wanted to get home were i could cuddle him and make sure no noises would bother him. the anesthesia made him sick... and cleaning up milk throw up is disgusting (its something i have had to do many many times and even though i have had a lot of practice... curdled milk barf makes me dry heave) so i gave him juice all day and he slept all night long.. wow... these tubes did it... he's cured. Hes drinking capri sun and he likes it! Capri sun day 2 hardly any milk and the boy sleeps again. Now i see 2 months later that this isn't a coincidence. i don't regret the tubes or the surgery because i do think that this has really helped with his hearing.

The sleepless nights continue and so does my search for answers. I have tried a million things and they have all failed. His problems persist and beyond those first 2 nights after the tubes he is still not sleeping.

Lincoln's surgery follow up at the ENT check up rolls around to make sure that his tubes have healed. The fluid is gone (has been since they drained it the morning of surgery) everything is well beyond healed as far as the ear surgery has gone. His lymph nodes that were supposed to go away are still there. If the fluid in his ear is gone and ear infections are gone why do we still have a problem with his huge swollen lymph nodes. I ask the ENT if it could be dairy. His response was quick "Dairy allergies may or may not be to blame. it very well could be a sensitivity or allergy. Eliminate all dairy and see me in 2 months." I left there excited because I wasn't able to make the life change to go dairy free alone. Now I was being nudged by a professional to eliminate another thing off my "could this be it list". I head to the health food store hoping not to overdraw our account and purchase a few things to try: rice milk and a few dairy free foods, fruits, veggies and meat. THE FIRST NIGHT DAIRY FREE HE SLEEPS ALL NIGHT. I wake up freaking out that something is wrong. Is he alive? We run to check and he is fine. of course i think it's just a fluke... until he sleeps the second night and the third and the fourth and fifth...its been 2 1/2 weeks and i feel like we have found some sort of magic spell. i know by the 3rd morning as i lay there crying that this his diet and his problems are connected. of course it is. i am seeing it work. but i also know how challenging this is going to be for our family that lives on dairy, processed foods and baseball park snack bars. dairy lurks in almost everything we normally consume. time for some major changes.

so much going on...

well... as usual i am busy doing everything and nothing at all. don't judge my spelling or punctuation. lincoln has torn half off the keys off of my keyboard and it is beyond repair. i tried snapping the keys on and some of them did... the rest are in the trash.

so lets go down the list... taylor is coaching and it is keeping him very busy. i find random green and gray baseball clothing all over the house. hanging from kitchen hooks and all over the house. i find trails of dirt in my house from the field in the shape of honey comb all over from the bottom of his turfs. i find lists of things to "fix" with the team along with things they have done well. he is working days and nights and occasionally making up hours along the way. my husband is having an affair with baseball. what's new? it's always been his first love. :) come to think of it, i am the one he is having an affair with. i can't forget that baseball was part of his life long before i came along. he is busy and tired. he is bothered when they lose and happy when they win. i miss him but i must say that his dedication is quite a turn on. i am lucky to have a man that is true to his word. does what he says he will and still makes time for his family. even if that means staying awake to watch Teen Mom and american idol while he is exhausted from a night shift at work, day shift at work, high school baseball, nolan's games and an overly hyper toddler sucking out our energy.

on to the kids... nolan is doing great in school. he is playing another season of baseball and the cat keeps pooping in his room because taylor is too busy to clean the litter. i had some pretty neat ideas for decorating nolan's room but he has taken it upon himself to create a space that he loves. selena gomez, miley cyrus and even the biebs cover his walls along with sports posters and a million stickers that i don't recall saying he can stick to the professionally painted walls but ya know... with 2 little brothers it must be nice for him to have a place he can go to have a little big kid time. now he needs a door so we can keep the little ones out and destroying his legos. and i am sure that will solve the problem with the cat dumping in the corner.


lincoln... oooooh my lincoln. he broke his arm, had a cold and pink eye all in the same week. he is starting to talk quite a bit and one of his favorite phrases is "OHHHH GAWD!". comes complete with an eye roll when you ask him to do something. i have no idea where he got this attitude... certainly not from me. okay well maybe... he is a parrot so i am trying to be a little more careful with what comes out of my mouth. he is a silly kid and i love having him run around the house doing bad things. he makes us laugh about a million times a day.

dylan... my little good boy. he looks like a little old man, he farts louder than i have ever heard a baby fart but his little smile melts my heart. he is so good. only cries for me when he needs something. he is a great sleeper and nurses like a champ. at 2 1/2 months he is already over 15 pounds and in 6-9 months clothes. so sad he is growing up so fast but not sad enough to want another one!

me... hmmmm i am finally able to catch a break after a long week of ear infections, pink eye, colds, fevers and a broken arm. laundry mountain is almost caught up on. i was behind about 15 loads and was actually considering dumping it all out the window rather that actually laundering it, folding it and putting it away. its amazing how many towels and clothing boys go through. i need to get them each their own towel and stress the fact that when you get out of the shower... you should be clean. use your flippen towel more than once and stop leaving wet towels all over the house... sheesh. also... we need to have a lesson on blood. if your nose is bleeding go outside and hover over a bush until it stops... i am done bleaching and scrubbing. a teacher once told me "if it's wet and it's not yours don't touch it." well that doesn't apply when you are a mom. anyway i got to sneak out of the house childless for an hour last night. i bought myself 3 new shirts and a rug for the downstairs. i would love to say that this a a pretty rug that is soft and cozy to step on but its rough and pokey in hopes that it will catch some of the dirt that gets trailed in from the garage. i got contacts yesterday for the first time in about 4 years. i can see and it's amazing. i feel like a rich person. ha... i have been squinting for a long time. headaches because of vision are not fun. i will be able to drive at night without worrying about crashing into something because i can SEE the center divider. i can even see leaves on trees!!! aaaamazing. i love it. :)